sometimes words are more powerful than modern medicine

she was born in oklahoma to a teen mom,

but ink marks on a paper gave her a new family. 

 now she would have ten siblings,

 three brothers and seven sisters.

 

her dad tried hard, but no amount of work, could pay for it all.

they grew up poor, and there was never really enough of anything.

they moved, and moved, and moved some more.

 and eight schools later, she was free.

she ran away with (who she thought) was the love of her life,

but ten years later, the marriage failed it's last exam.

the papers were signed, and things were permanent.

she got a good job and proudly raised her kids,

and remarried her actual dream man.

 

the perfect life, with the perfect kids.

her son was graduated and excelling in college

her daughter had lots of friends, and together they got their weekly manicure.

at the age of forty her back just stopped working.

two unsuccessful surgeries, and thousands of pain pills later,

she was practically bed ridden.

if she continued living the way that she did: unbearable pain

if she got another surgery: unbearable pain.

three months before her daughters graduation,

the pain was over whelming, but she got up anyways.

she winced in pain as her slippers hit the stairs.

she turned on some music to drown out her thoughts.

the silence made her back hurt worse.

music played throughout the kitchen,  

but she didn't hear one note.

she grabbed her pill bottle, like she always did.

but this time it was different, she looked at it for a long time.

she slowly opened the cap an emptied the whole bottle into her hand.

she reached for a cup and her elbow paused the music.

when her brain focused on music, it couldn't focus on the pain.

 she listened to every word, because they would be the last thing she heard.

the song of choice was "out on my own" by gabrielle aplin

because of this song, she gave life one more chance.